


An Identity So Secret, Even I Don’t Know Who I Am!

by mooseman13579



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Comics! (jazzhands), Fake bodyswap, Gen, Hydra is not smart, Protective Hulk, paper-thin disguise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:14:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4036459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooseman13579/pseuds/mooseman13579
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hey, did you know that one time in the Captain America comic, Red Skull convinced Steve that he'd been bodyswapped by gluing a mask to his face?<br/>Well this is how I think that'd work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Identity So Secret, Even I Don’t Know Who I Am!

When Steve woke up, something felt different. He couldn’t begin to guess what it might be, but it only intensified when he scratched his face sleepily. Looking around, he noticed that he wasn’t in his room in Stark Tower. If he had to hazard a guess, he’d say that he was near the docks on Staten Island. He rose from the bed and cautiously peeked out a window. The surroundings confirmed his guess and even looked like he remembered from his own time, but that didn’t mean anything. It could, after all, be another group like SHIELD trying to make him think that he was still in the 40s. Well, whoever they were, they weren’t going to get him with the same trick twice.

Whatever circumstances he found himself in, Steve Rodgers was not a man who would fail to take advantage of whatever amenities provided, so he began his morning routine, starting with a shave. He had just lifted the razor and met his own eyes in the mirror when it clicked.

It wasn’t his face he saw.

For a horrible moment, he thought it was a joke, but his fingers met warm flesh and the horrible mustache that graced his new face was painfully real. Steve was confronted with the realization that, somehow, someone had caused him to switch bodies with an unknown person. The obvious implications hit him instantly; that unknown person was now in the body of Captain America and much of the Tower’s security was based off retinal and DNA locks. He had to get back, now.

Heedless of whatever trap had been laid, he kicked open the front door of the apartment, startling the goons guarding it. Two quick punches put them into dreamland and Steve rushed on, running towards the gleaming ‘A’ in the distance, hoping against hope that he would get back in time to prevent whatever plan was in motion.

A car full of goons pulled up beside him as the scenery flashed past, reminding him of his first outing with his enhanced body. A glance revealed that these goons were Hydra. Maybe one day they’d get smart and stop wearing the armbands. One of them pulled a gun. Casually ducking, not even slowing his pace, he easily dodged the bullets and simply reached over and crumpled the pistol’s barrel.

Suddenly, a green giant picked up the car and shook it vigorously, shouting at it like it had cheated him at cards. The whine of repulsors also approached and Iron Man was suddenly flying in beside him. He gave an appraising look to Steve.

“Yo, Capsicle, ditch the mustache.” Steve stumbled in shock.

“How did you know it was me? I mean, the face…” he trailed off as he realized that after five minutes he was already halfway to Stark Tower and he wasn’t even winded. Combine that with his easy strength and quick reflexes and the conclusion was obvious.

“They did something to my face.”

Iron Man nodded. “You didn’t come back from your evening jog and some crazy with a cheap dye job and a Halloween costume tried to get in. We only found you because no one else runs that fast.”

Steve nodded contemplatively, looking back as the Hulk yelled at each goon in turn, seemingly enjoying their fearful faces.

“Just get me home and fix my face.”

“Can do, Dorothy. Hey, Hulk!” The green giant turned his head towards Iron Man. “We’re going home!”

The Hulk grinned and bounded after his friends as they flew off towards the glittering tower in the distance.


End file.
